Actor Jokes

They say laughter is the best medicine…. personally am not afraid to laugh at myself! It tends to make life interesting! I came across the following list of actor jokes the other day… many of which made me laugh out loud!!

How many actors does it take to change a lightbulb?
Funniest Memes want to be an actor1) One. They hate to share the spotlight.
2) One to change it, and 99 to stand there saying, ‘I could have done it better.’
3) Just one. He stands there, and the world revolves around him.
4) That depends on what the script says.
5) He just holds it, and the world revolves around him.
6) Doesn’t the stage manager do that?
7) Well, first I have to know the lightbulb’s motivation…
8) How many STRAIGHT actors does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Both of them.
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A director and an agent are walking down the street and a beautiful woman crosses their path. The director says: ‘Boy, I’d like to screw her.’
The agent says: ‘Yeah? Out of what?’

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Question: What’s the difference between an actor and a mutual fund?

Answer: Mutual funds eventually mature and make money.

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Actor comes home one day to find his home ransacked… Just trashed…
As he stands in the rubble, stunned, he hears moaning from the upstairs bedroom. He races upstairs to find his wife, obviously beaten and taken advantage of. Through his tears he asks ‘Who did this?’ His wife whispers ‘Your agent.’
The man brightens… ‘My Agent? He came to the house? Wow!

– Tim Brandt

Creatively Witty & Artistically Sweet

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